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Funny Quotes

  • "I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!"
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!"
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "Either the man is dead, or my watch has stopped."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes
  • "A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
    By: ^Groucho Marx
    Funny Quotes

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