Funny Quotes

• "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
  By: ^Oscar Wilde
  Funny Quotes
• "The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the Four F's: 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating."
  By: ^Psychology professor
  Funny Quotes
• "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off."
  By: ^Unknown
  Funny Quotes
• "Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions."
  By: ^Woody Allen
  Funny Quotes
• "Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years."
  By: ^Unknown
  Funny Quotes
• "God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question."
  By: ^Anonymous
  Funny Quotes
• "When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment."
  By: ^Warren Farrell
  Funny Quotes
• "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
  By: ^Jerry Seinfeld
  Funny Quotes
• "A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times."
  By: ^Sanskrit proverb
  Funny Quotes
• "Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you."
  By: ^Mrs. Patrick Campbell
  Funny Quotes
• "Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place."
  By: ^ Billy Crystal.
  Funny Quotes
• "When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows."
  By: ^Frederick Ryder
  Funny Quotes
• "If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet."
  By: ^Ernest Bevin
  Funny Quotes
• "Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
  By: ^General William Westmoreland
  Funny Quotes
• "It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody."
  By: ^Richard M. Nixon
  Funny Quotes
• "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackss, and I'm just the one to do it."
  By: ^Unknown
  Funny Quotes